It's 3am - Clearly spirit is speaking to me this rising. My arms feel like I'm in a gentle embrace. "Hello ancestors"
Last night (that feels weird since it's still dark), I was reading a post from @TorahCents on Instagram about what consistency is. Quality over quantity.
This morning thoughts in my head and this came up again in conjunction with this meme or quote circulating among women (because men don't say this foolishness) that "I am an inconsistent friend".
Every time I'd see it something in me would just cringe at the notion that I would consider someone a friend and they be inconsistent in their friendship. Words have power. We should be mindful of how we bless or hex ourselves using words.
After reading the post on Instagram and letting it simmer in my being as I slept, I got it. One - I don't have any inconsistent friends. Period.
Let's look at what consistency can look like. Now, for some it's every day interaction. I realize now that this being the number one characteristic comes from a wound of abandonment. This wound can be from this life or another, but the fear that not seeing or hearing from someone daily is a reflection of that wound.
I will say that my absolute closest inner circle, at bear minimum it's hello. Even if we don't do anything else but "Good Morning" we make time and space to do that. However, when we don't... we all have this unconscious "window of time" that is allowed to go by before we reach out to one another. Even if that reach out is only a meme. I appreciate that. We all have lives, full time jobs, children, etc. The fact we are consistent in our communication means the world to me.
If my soul sister, we don't speak on that frequent a cadence but we do have one. We are consistent in making sure no more than a couple weeks goes by without at least a text to say hey I'm thinking of you. And even during that window we like, share, and uplift each other in the social media world. She and I are consistent, even though the interactions are not daily.
So, what does inconsistent look like. I had to mull in this one as well. I had to decide what that felt like.
You say you're going to do something and more often than not it doesn't get done or... it's at the last minute. Instead of just saying you can't, I'm just left hanging. I'd rather you say you are unable to vs leaving me high and dry.
Never seeing you. Now this doesn't apply to folks that live out of town. That'd be silly. But, if we live within 30 minutes and like NEVER see each other. Or... the effort to see one another always falls on me. Yeah... sigh.
Not celebrating your wins in an authentic way. I hate seeing posts that say "your friends don't support you only strangers". Seriously. I'm trying to figure out what familial or societal wound has made some of you think this should be the normal. My best friend has TWO copies of my book. TWO. Why? IDK, but he does. I gift a copy of one of the journals I published to another friend and he was like, "How much do I owe you?" Bruh... it's a gift. The fact he wanted to pay me though meant a lot. I won't be surprised if I get a random cash app. That's just how they do sometimes. And everyone can't financially support. Shares on social media though are free. To think that your friend wouldn't share your post to me is ridiculous. And I know algorithms suck. Your friends though... they may just hype you up randomly on GP even if they don't see your posts. I love the associates and strangers that share my posts. You all are so amazing and I appreciate the love. Still - my friends. Yeah, if I consider you an actual friend I'm expecting it of you too. Just am. You are welcome to feel like friends don't support you. That is totally ok for you. I personally am manifesting a tribe that is supportive of one another. Nothing less is acceptable.
Those are just the ones that I am sharing. There are more lol. When I look at how some of you describe your behavior.... Oh wait... there is one more. Only being there during trauma. Being a consistent energy vampire. Feeding off the fact you are needed. No.
Ok, sorry about that. Now, back to this post. I read some of your captions and I don't think that you are labeling yourselves correctly. I genuinely wish you'd stop it.
If you and our friend group see each other regularly, talk in a cadence that isn't like months at a time (like seriously there has to be some standard, a month isn't it), support each other's dreams... y'all consistent.
I feel like we all have lives. However, just like we have an expectation that our partners make time for us, we should have one for our friends. I mean, your partner IS your friend right? The foundation of your relationship is rooted in friendship? I see so many say their partner is their best friend. Ok. That means certain friendship behaviors were at work. Those same friendship behaviors should be rooted in your personal Core Values. Those in your life you consider friends should align with that.
Communicating where you are in life helps mitigate confusion as to how you are able to be a friend. My three closest friends are men. Not because I don't have women friends. I'm not one of those "Oh I can't be friends with women" types. They just are who they are. Because they are men, there are some things that are different in how we friend with each other. Yes I may friend into a verb. LOL. Men don't always say when something is wrong. However, being a intuitive psychic and empath, I know when something is up. I just don't press too hard. They each know that I am a safe space. They can tell me what's up. But, when they go dark... I know. I can feel it in the air even if we don't speak. And they've told me that may happen. So, it's not like "oh what happened to so and so". Like I know this is likely what's going on. I reach out, but in a different way. "I'm thinking of you." "Sending you love" Things like that. Just so that even in the midst of that dark night, there is a light shining for them. Even some folks I don't talk to regularly but I can feel energetically get one of those random messages. I'll get a reply that basically says I'm right on time.
I feel like I can go back to sleep so this must be what I needed to share. Stop calling yourself inconsistent please. Please redefine what consistent looks like between you and your actual friends. Don't accept less simply because society says that is normal. Define your life. Elevate your normal.
Thanks again for reading, liking, and sharing. Have a beautifully abundant Thursday/Jupiter day.